I’ve always been a lover of Christmas. I love the sights, the smells, the sounds, the togetherness, and most importantly the Reason for the Season! My family makes fun of me because I usually start listening to Christmas music November 1. However, this year I find myself struggling to get into the Christmas spirit that has always come so easily.
As I’m scrolling social media, I’ve found that I’m not alone in this. Several other people are struggling to find the spirit this Christmas. I can’t really figure out the reason for my little slump. The holidays bring along all sorts of emotions for me. As I unpack the Christmas decor, I find things that my grandma gave to me or that she decorated her house with during the holidays and I realize just how much I miss my grandparents. I can still “smell” their house when we would walk in Christmas morning. I get a little sad because our girls are growing so fast. I’m proud of who they are becoming, but I miss the moments when they were little and it makes me wonder if we did enough. Did we make enough memories when they were little, are we continuing to make memories? It also makes me realize that our years of believing in our house are numbered. That makes me so sad! While I realize things will get a little easier, there’s just something about enjoying the magic of Christmas in a child’s eyes!
We also have crazy schedules along with everyone else in the world. 3 girls in sports and 2 different schools (well, 3 if you count mine!) makes for insane schedules and we often find ourselves rushing home only to rush off to the next place.
In that moment, I knew we were doing something right!
This morning, I was getting ready to rush out the door for work. I had a million things on my mind. Trying to figure out how I can get everything accomplished before December 25th, my youngest says, “Mom, when the teacher asks everyone at school what they’re most excited about for Christmas, they all say presents, but it’s not really about the presents. It’s about being together with your family and Jesus.” Our youngest sure has a way of putting everything into perspective and snapping me back to the present! In that moment, I knew we were doing something right!
And then she showed me the letter to Santa that she had been working on. Sure she asked for a few things, but she also asked for “hope and care for the ones in the hospital” and “money so she can take it to church and give to people in need.” In that moment, I knew we were really doing something right and I’m being too hard on myself. Man, how lucky are we to have her?!
You see, I worry a lot….A LOT! Just ask my husband. I worry that I’m not enough. I’m not a good enough friend, mom, wife, sister, co-worker, daughter, or teacher. I worry if I’m doing enough. Am I doing enough to make sure my girls are good students and teaching them how to be good citizens?
Am I doing enough cooking, or cleaning (don’t answer that!)
Am I making enough memories with my girls and making sure that magic hangs on just a little bit longer.
Am I making sure the girls eat enough healthy food?
AM I ENOUGH? And the answer is yes! I am. YOU ARE ENOUGH!
From now on, until the end of the Season, I’m going to sit back and try to enjoy the little things. I know it will be hard, but as my husband tells me, “It all gets done.” It may not be in the timing I want it all done, but it will all get done. I refuse to let stress and worry keep me from enjoying this season with my girls.
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